the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
