What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
