i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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