is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize