ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
