Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
