Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
