So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
