did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
