Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
