Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
