do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
