And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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