we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
