Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
