If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My hand turned me down
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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