So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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