Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
