Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
