just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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