At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
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Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
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REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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