Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
