Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
