And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
