I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
