We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
