I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
