I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
