I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
how does that bad decision feel?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
