I must be too annoying 4 u.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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