she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
