cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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