Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
