It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
This toilet bowl is my home.
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