I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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