so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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