I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
