His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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