I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
