if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
