Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
