Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
