if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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