actually, I'm a sock model
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
