guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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