Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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