He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
