I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
