That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
