i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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