You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
