Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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