She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
