come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
