I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
