you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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