apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize