you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Acid is not a monday night drug
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
