It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
