i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Randomize
