i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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