In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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